GREG - What do you tell someone,when they ask: how can god be all loving, when he allowed or commanded all the bad things to happen in the old testament. such as sodom and gamorrah, the battles and so on...

JOEL - My own parents loved me very much as a child but at the same time they could administer discipline and punishment when it was needed. So we first need to understand that God has perfect love, mercy and compassion for all His children. Like my earthly parents, He wants us to succeed in life and return to Him. Out of this great love comes a great concern for our welfare; especially when we use the agency He gave us and do things that are wrong.
When the scriptures say that God's anger is kindled against His children, it is not because we have harmed him, but because we have harmed ourselves; and this grieves Him. For example, He is upset when we fail to confesss His hand in all things (D&C 59: 21), not because He has a big ego to feed, but because this is a sign of selfishness and self-centeredness in us.

We also must not look at God's anger through our finite mortal eyes. He sees the big picture from the beginning to the end and knows what is best for all of us, which at times might require some of the things He did in the Old Testament.

Being a loving Father, though deeply devoted to our free agency, there are times in human history when He simply could not continue to send spirits to this earth who would have had virtually no chance. This was the case with the people at the time of Noah and those of Sodom and Gomorrah. Things had gotten so bad that it was better to destroy a few individuals, than to entail misery on many more who would be born into those conditions. Therefore the inhabitants of the old world and of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed, because it was better for them to die, and thus be deprived of their agency, which they abused, than to pass on so much misery on their posterity, and bring ruin upon millions of unborn persons. (See John Taylor, The Government of God [Liverpool: S. W. Richards, 1852], p. 53.)

When Moses was told to destroy the Amorites God told him the reason was "for the wickedness of these nations the LORD doth drive them out from before thee." (Deut 9:4-5)

Unfortunately innocent people must sometimes perish in these destructions. Alma gave the reason for this in the Book of Mormon:

"And when Amulek saw the pains of the women and children who were consuming in the fire, he also was pained; and he said unto Alma: How can we witness this awful scene? Therefore let us stretch forth our hands, and exercise the power of God which is in us, and save them from the flames.
But Alma said unto him: The Spirit constraineth me that I must not stretch forth mine hand; for behold the Lord receiveth them up unto himself, in glory; and he doth suffer that they may do this thing, or that the people may do this thing unto them, according to the hardness of their hearts, that the judgments which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may be just; and the blood of the innocent shall stand as a witness against them, yea, and cry mightily against them at the last day." (Alma 14:10-11)

God created man and gave him his agency to choose to do good or evil. It is not God but man's poor choices that cause most of the pain and suffering that people must endure. God allows these things to happen so righteous judgments can be made upon those who choose to disobey Him. The righteous who innocently suffer will be blessed for it in the eternities.

God explains the reasons for His anger upon those who do not listen and follow His commandments:

"O, ye nations of the earth, how often would I have gathered you together as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, but ye would not!
How oft have I called upon you by the mouth of my servants, and by the ministering of angels, and by mine own voice, and by the voice of thunderings, and by the voice of lightnings, and by the voice of tempests, and by the voice of earthquakes, and great hailstorms, and by the voice of famines, and pestilences of every kind, and by the great sound of a trump, and by the voice of judgment, and by the voice of mercy all the day long, and by the voice of glory and honor and the riches of eternal life, and would have saved you with an everlasting salvation, but ye would not!
Behold, the day has come, when the cup of the wrath of mine indignation is full. (D&C 43:24-26)

He does these things as a last resort, because it seems it is the only way to get us to follow Him:

"And thus we see that except the Lord doth chasten his people with many afflictions, yea, except he doth visit them with death and with terror, and with famine and with all manner of pestilence they will not remember him." (Helaman 12:3)

God created the earth and set things in motion. He does not normally cause earthquakes and floods to happen; those are simply a result of the laws of physics. But He allows these terrible things to happen to remind us how totally dependant we must be on Him and to cause us to turn to Him. They also serve as a test for us to see if we will use our agency to help those who are affected by such things; so that "the works of God should be made manifest" in those that we help. (John 9:3)